The Bottom Line
Try to have a more futuristic focus right now, and stop worrying about your past.
In Detail
Just because your fantasies aren't real doesn't mean that they can't affect your real life. Sometimes, your subconscious needs you to draw a map for it to follow. Get detailed about what you see -- from the clothes on your back to the car you drive, imagine exactly what you want. Visualizing your life down the road is an excellent way to give yourself a goal to work toward. Try to have a more futuristic focus right now, and stop worrying so much about mistakes from your past.
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thank you! please come again! :)