Thursday, June 19, 2014

16th Days Without Yitien


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم & السلام عليكم
hello visitors; family, friends & strangers!
welcome to atnur's world!

People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it. - Anthony de Mello
When an introvert is quiet, don't assume he is depressed, snobbish or socially deficient. - Laurie Helgoe
Never assume, no matter how strong the temptation, that other people are low-life lying manipulators without a shred of human decency. - Dinesh D'Souza

my friends asked me how does it feel when quitting Yitien after 1 year (more than that but i'm just lazy to count anymore), the same like quitting other games i guess. i'll get used to it like the rest. i said my goodbyes on 3rd June 2014 in the evening. i love my Akane, i really do. but something happened that day which i can't really tell everyone about it. that day was my last day of vip as well. i was not well & had my "monthly best friend" coming over to visit me, so i was really not in the mood to play pranks or be threaten by anyone.

as soon as i've done saying goodbyes & logout, few friends sms, call & even pm me on Facebook. most of them asked why & i just said i'm bored. i was waiting too long to quit & i didn't because of someone & i've finally decided to just let it go (the game, i mean). the truth is Yitien makes me stress especially with all the in game dramas. it's just like real life dramas (more or less). people come & go, used you & left you when they're done with you. i feel abused & used most of the time. that's how i truly feel... so when Ayang told me to quit (actually he told me to quit like countless times coz he always see me stress :P), & that "thing" happened, i never even bother to rethink my decision, so i just quit.

those sms, call & pm on Facebook, they're not just asking about why i quit but they asked for my Akane too. they want my Akane. i told them the truth, my FB best friend had been asking since last year, if 1 day i thought of quitting for good, she wants my Akane. she had a low level healer in s11 & because she can't keep up with the world level, she moved on to another server. there were few days i can't login due to real life matters last year & she's the 1 helping me with all my quests & stuffs. nobody knows her like i do & she never done anything weird too while i'm gone. so when she asked me again that night, i just said yes but with 1 condition, to tell the truth to whoever pm me in game that i've quit & Akane is no longer me but her.

i checked my Facebook everyday at least once unless i'm not at home, no electricity, internet suspended & all other unexpected obstacles; whatever it is :P. so just now, after reading my inbox, something happened in the world that i've left. from the looks of it, sounds so serious but i told them, i won't go back anymore. i do & still keep in touch with others just not in game but through phone & Facebook. i know some already erased me from their life as soon as i've quit coz i've no used for them anymore but that's life. people will always come & go as they pleases. who am i to stop them from leaving me, right? they can go whenever they want. it doesn't really matter. too many people love making assumptions without even trying to know the truth. i asked that person directly before getting mad coz i know i'm not perfect as well just like everyone else... Akane is not me anymore (i quit, remember?), whoever the members in Legacy or whatever anyone do in game has nothing to do with me anymore, so why blame me? that's really unfair coz i know nothing & have never login anyone at all since quitting. -_-

anyway, enough rants in the morning. i don't like making enemies & never like having enemies; it's not my nature. i love making friends even when i know they'll always leave me sooner or later but that's the risk i've to take as always... i just wanna say thanks to those who still believe in me & my friendship. there are many things that i've not willing to share with the whole world but i'm willing to share it with you personally, means you're special in my life. if my friendship means nothing to you, then you can always leave. i won't stop or hold you anymore... thanks for everything & forgive me for not stopping or holding you like i've used to...

4 comments:

  1. What you wrote I can understand everything and what happened to bring us a lot of different feelings about things around.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

thank you! please come again! :)